Tag: identity

Accused

Ben looked nervously at his conversation partner sitting opposite. The conversation had taken a not unusual turn and he knew what was coming. Ben steeled himself.

‘So, why aren’t you married?’

This wasn’t the first time that Ben had received this question or a version thereof. He quickly calculated in his mind which of the possible approaches to use this time in his defence. The man sitting opposite him was a relatively young family man from church, so Ben thought he would go with the direct spiritual angle.

‘Well, God hasn’t led me to the right person yet.’

He threw the yet in there to offer a glimmer of hope and emphasis that he was working on it. This didn’t have the desired result though of offsetting further interrogation.

‘Don’t blame God! You need to be out there doing something about it!’

Ben wasn’t sure exactly what he should be out there doing. ‘I’ve asked a few girls, bjt they weren’t that interested.’

‘Yes, but how did you ask them?’

Ben refrained from answering, assuming that the reply ‘with words’ would come across facetious.

 ‘A girl that’s worth having, doesn’t give herself easily,’ continued the romance lesson.

Ben was aware of that!

‘You’ve got to insist! They’re playing hard to get!’

Some of them were certainly good players, although his recent experience when he approached a girl after church and asked ‘How are you?’ to which she looked the other way and went to talk to some one else, seemed like more than a game. In any case, Ben wasn’t good at insisting. He was English!

‘I have prayed about it and am waiting for God’s plan,’ was all he could think to say, hoping this wouldn’t been seen as clutching at straws.

‘Well, it’s about time you took action. God won’t send her to your front door. You need to go out and get her. It’s like any gift, you need to accept it!’

The straws had evaded Ben’s grasp. Maybe Ben’s adversary was right. Maybe he should be doing more. Maybe he should be more active. He began to contemplate how the search features of facebook worked.

‘I’m waiting for a wedding invite this autumn!’

All of us encounter at times Bildad, Zophar or Eliphaz. These were the friends of Job, a man mentioned in the Bible has being one of the greatest men to live. However, God allows a time of testing to come on him. Satan is able to take away all that he has and furthermore, even inflict him with boils on his skin.

Job is then visited by the aforementioned friends. We might expect that they would offer words of encouragement but actually their interpretation of the situation is that Job has done something wrong and thus everything that has happened to him is a punishment from God. Eliphaz says for example ‘’ Job 22:4,5.

It is also common today that people interpret bad things as being a punishment from God. Thus the cause of suffering is that we haven’t been doing what we should and the solution is to correct our ways. Hence someone who isn’t married hasn’t been trying hard enough, but if they correct this, all will be well. Job however puts a different perspective on things.

He argues that actually he hasn’t done anything wrong that deserves what he is going through (Job 9:21) and that no one can present themselves innocent in comparison to God (Job 9:2) thus suffering can’t be a direct punishment for wrong doing because in that case everyone would be suffering. Indeed, the reader knows the reason why Job is suffering because the heavenly discussions between the Lord and Satan are presented in the first  two chapters, where we learn that Job’s suffering is actually a test permitted by the Lord to prove his faith genuine.

In this day and age many people promote the idea that our deeds equate to either the quality of our life in the here and now, and/or our final destination. If we do good now, we will be blessed and if the good outweighs the bad, we will have the hope of heaven. However, this sort of thinking gives rise to wrong theology such as the prosperity gospel.

In this false gospel, we are told that God has earthly blessings for those who have faith in him. He who prays the right way has a nice wife coming his direction, as it were. This is far from the case though.

Job debates for a good number of chapters with his friends, before we eventually arrive towards the end of the book. God reveals himself and clarifies things. In chapter 42 verse 7, we discover that Job’s friends are indeed wrong in what they have been saying. There is no prosperity gospel or right and wrong karma in operation in the universe. Rather we see in the preceding verses the way things are; God is in charge (I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 42:2) and everything that happened was to enable Job to truly come to know God (My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself
    and repent in dust and ashes.’ 42:5,6).

Ben lay prostrate in bed. His head hurt, but even more so his heart. He had been rejected once again. Thoughts raced through his mind about what might have been. Maybe he should have asked a different way? Maybe he should ask again? Maybe he should have asked someone else?

As he was tormented by these thoughts, he just about mustered the energy to roll his head to one side and spy his Bible that he usually left beside him when he slept. Knowing that it was the only hope, he raised himself to sit upright and then reached out. Taking the Bible he opened it to Psalm 43. So far there wasn’t to be any invite, but what did it matter? God was his delight. Anyway, things weren’t done and dusted yet.

Who Am I?

‚Who am I?’ is a common question that most of us ask ourselves sooner or later in life. Indeed, if we don’t think about this issue, at least subconsciously, if not more openly, we will just float through life, tossed about from right to left by each and every wave that comes our way.

Gradual Formation

Over the years, we have all actually formed some ideas about this question due to our experiences as we have grown up. The circumstances around us influence our thinking whether we like it or do. As a simple example, someone who has grown up in England will probably develop the idea that he or she is English, unless of course they have parents or extended family from elsewhere that might give rise to other ideas. In Moldova, many people’s families moved there during former days from Russia or the Ukraine and so have kept the language and traditions from whence they came, thus children born into these families can often feel more Russian or Ukrainian than Moldovan.

Obviously, there are many areas of life where we need to make a decision about who we are, not just our nationality, but also with regard to our careers, characteristics, religion and lifestyle to name a few important ones. Some of these things are given us, for example our personalities are something that we can not control or the country where we are born. Others of these we can work on and influence one way or another.

Jekyll or Hyde?

There is a well-known story about a man who actually had two identities.

 In a small town, a mysterious stranger appears, Mr. Hyde. He is not the most pleasantly behaved individual ever, and so a certain negative feeling grows in the townspeople with regard to him. There also appears to be some connection between him and the town’s respected physician, Dr. Jekyll; Mr. Hyde is seen around Dr. Jekyll’s home and they both seem to have similar handwriting.

One day there is a murder in the town. Evidently, suspicion turns towards Mr. Hyde. The investigation progresses and the conclusion of the matter is that Dr. Jekyll is found dead with a letter of confession. He admits, not to harbouring Mr. Hyde, but to being him!

He explains that he had discovered a potion that when taken frees him from his restraints thus allowing him to indulge his passions, in other words becoming Mr. Hyde. Initially, things were under control, but gradually he started turning spontaneously into Mr. Hyde. Hence, he was living as two people in one, something that proved complicated and ultimately fatal.

This fictional story nevertheless serves as a warning to us. There are indeed psychological conditions where people medically don’t know who they are. Even if we are not afflicted in this way, we can still suffer from confusion with regard to our identity.

Bad Influences

Our perception of who we are can be greatly influenced by different factors. For example, if I want to be accepted by a group of people who use bad language, I will probably start using the same language. Alternatively, if when growing up, my parents instilled in me the thought that it is important to study science, then probably I will have gone in that direction in my life.

The point is though that it is necessary for our perception of reality to correspond to reality. I may believe that I am a great football player, but if I make it my life’s goal to play for Real Madrid and invest all my time and energy in achieving that aim, I might be disappointed when I go to Madrid for a trial and find that they are less than keen to include me in their first team.

In other words, what we believe about ourselves will direct our lives thus it is essential for us to think carefully about our beliefs.

Will the Real Ben Step Forward

As a result, we can say that two things are important.

Firstly, to seek things are true, both about ourselves and also the world around. Some people claim that truth is relative, so instead of seeking it, we can just develop our own. There would be much to discuss on this point, but a simple observation would be that there are some absolute truths. For example, I know that it is not a good idea to jump out of my flat window because I can be sure of what will happen (barring miracles of course!).

For Christians, our reference point for truth is the God of the Bible. He created all things and so only from Him can we find out the truth about everything around us. We can glean some information by analysing His creation (after all this is what science is) but the ultimate picture we can only understand in the light of His revelation of it. To this end, we have the Bible which contains all the things that God wants us to know about ourselves and the world around us.

Thus it is important for us to be getting to know the Bible, otherwise we will be groping around in life in  the dark.

Secondly, it is necessary for us to put into practice what we know from the Bible. There are many people who claim to be Christians, but who never do what the Bible says, which is like me claiming to be a great footballer, but never playing football!

As mentioned already, finding out who we are is a gradual process. Indeed, we could say that maturing is exactly that; over the years discovering out more about ourselves. This is why it is important in life to get involved and try out different things. Only by trial and error can we find ourselves. However, if we want to find our true selves, it is necessary to look from God’s perspective through the prism of the Bible. Otherwise, we will be drawn to the darker elements of our sinful nature and the sinful culture around us, missing out on the real person that God created us to be, and potentially sharing in Dr. Jeykll’s fate.