Ben felt his heart pound as he moved swiftly along. The reason for the pounding was twofold.
There was the obvious breathlessness caused by physical effort. He was in a hurry to not be late for his meeting. However, there was something more. The said meeting could be described as a rendezvous and thus Ben, like any romantic hopeful, was nervous. What would he say exactly? More importantly, what would she say?
Ben was starting to feel decidedly tired, so he began to slow his pace. He was not used to such moments as these and so had misjudged his preparation time. He usually spent just a few moments readying himself before debarking into the world, but this time various different thoughts had plagued him. Was his hair combed okay? Had he forgotten anything? Was this even a good idea? This was topped by the present which he had already lovingly prepared, but he constantly felt the need to check on it and the accompanying letter, debating in his mind possible improvements.
At last, his destination was in sight. The agreed meeting point was in the central courtyard of the university, a fitting choice as it was during years doing student ministry that they had met and got to know one another. Ben turn a sharp right turn and entered the university campus via a back entrance. This wasn’t because he was worried about being seen, the campus was open throughway for all and sundry, but it was just the most convenient option and after all, he had no time to spare.
Glancing at his timepiece, he observed that he was right on time, 5.30 p.m. on the dot! Relieved, he quickly made his way through the campus to the middle, where there was a fountain surrounded by benches. As he approached it, he scanned around to see if the young lady that he had arranged to meet was there. She wasn’t. Resigning himself to one of life’s constants, he seated himself down on a bench to wait.
Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait long, which was good because the butterflies were churning. From his vantage point, he could clearly see all the way to the main entrance of the university and after a while, he observed the shadowy figure of someone entering through the open gate and heading in his direction. He began to get his hopes up, in spite of previous experiences, and sure enough the figure had set a collision course towards him. It certainly looked like it was her and as she came closer the doubt melted away. It was her!
Ben felt a certain relaxation of tensions inside of him as the first two obstacles had been overcome; both he and she had made it. However, the most challenging part lay ahead.
Ben was a great one for small talk, especially when he was nervous, but Andriana obviously preferred the direct approach. ‘So, what’s this all about?’ was her cut to the chase question, without the usual pleasantries.
Ben was slightly taken aback. He had exchanged a number messages with her over a longish period of time, before mustering the courage to tell her that he had a present to give her. She had reacted with surprise and began questioning him via the internet. Ben was more of a face-to-face kind of person, so hadn’t known what to respond. Eventually though, Andriana had realised that Ben was angling for a meeting and so here they were.
‘Well..’ began Ben hesitantly, his plans already being derailed. He had written everything he had wanted to say in his letter, thinking that better as he could easily put his foot in it when speaking freely. He planned a short speech in order to offer the present with letter to Andriana and then was expecting that she would obediently take it, go away, read the letter, and then give a reply. ‘I, err, just wanted to give you this.’ He started to open his bag to get the present out, but she recalled.
‘For what reason a present?’
Ben realised this was going to be a lot trickier than he had anticipated.
‘I was thinking that I quite like talking to you and I thought that maybe we could get to know each other better.’ Andriana stared and Ben began reflecting on whether he had more dug himself out of or into a hole.
‘I mean to say that maybe we could keep communicating to see what God’s plan is for us?’ Ben said, reiterating his intentions, hoping that different words might produce a different respone. Andriana stared.
A brief, but not uncomfortable, silence followed. Ben thought about how he could have said things better and if he had been clearly understood. It was unclear to Ben what Andriana was thinking about, but it didn’t take long for her to verbalise her thoughts.
‘I hadn’t ever thought about that. It’s nice when someone asks you how you are and shows a genuine interest in you.’ She paused and then continued. ‘How old are you?’
This seemed like an unfortunate interjection at this stage. Ben mumbled a response, hoping that it wouldn’t put her off.
‘Okay, I’ll have to think about and it and get advice. How long have I got to give you an answer?’
Ben hadn’t thought about this and so didn’t know what to say. He mumbled again. Nevertheless, they somehow managed to agree on a timeframe of as long as you need, but not too long!
Ben didn’t know quite how to conclude things. He made a second attempt to offer his present, but the negative reaction, which included the word ‘Why’, caused him to abandon the idea. It seemed alright to offer to pray, so he did and this offer was accepted. After a few brief words of thanks for Andriana and a request for wisdom and guidance for her, they said their goodbyes. They then set off, ironically in the same direction, thus after exiting the university gate, they said goodbye again and were finally separated.
Each of us longs to be accepted. Whether it is about a desire for a loving relationship or a group of friends or particular community, we want others to like us and accept us. Thus, we are willing to change and conform to certain standards in order to increase our chances. How many young men and women adopt the latest fashions in clothes and hairstyles in the hope that they will be accepted.
But the truth is that no matter how hard we strive, we are not always well received. There are many factors at play when it comes to being accepted, especially with regard to romantic relationships. The other person could have so many different issues that it is hard to be sure how they will receive us.
It is additionally challenging for Christians who need to submit to God’s standards, something which can often cost popularity, certainly in terms of society, but even in one to one relationships as well. On the other hand, being a Christian offers a great comfort in the face of the rejections in this life by other people.
Christianity can be defined as a living relationship with God through Jesus Christ who is our intermediary. This connection to Jesus offers great hope and solace because He accepts all who come to Him (Matthew 11:28). He doesn’t have various pretensions or conditions for us. Indeed, this is the very meaning of grace; that He accepts us in spite of our flaws caused by sin due to the fact that He has already dealt with our sinfulness on the cross and furthermore, he offers us something that we don’t deserve, an abundant life in Him!
Hence, we can face the rejection of others, knowing that He sticks closer than a brother (proverbs 18:24).
It had been a whole week since they had met at the university. Ben was sitting in his room, resting after returning home from church, when the moment of truth arrived.
He was busy looking at one thing and another on his telephone as was his want, when all of a sudden a message appeared from Andriana. This caused quite a stir in Ben’s inner being. What could it say?
Cautiously, he opened the message, metaphorically speaking, and there before him were Andriana’s words. ‘Hi! I’ve made my decision. Would you like to meet or share I write it to you?’
Ben didn’t know what to say. In one sense it would have been nice to meet up again, although he wasn’t sure how his emotions would stand up to this. Alternatively, in writing was a good option as it was less confrontational.
Ben dithered and then began writing. It was in vane though as Andriana, by this stage proving herself to not be one to mess about had already started typing. Ben hurriedly rushed his message through that it would be nice to meet up, but if it was easier for her, she could write him an email. She wrote her message here in messenger.
Because she had already started typing, the agonising wait, was that little bit less agonising. The message, although quite long, appeared quickly. Ben couldn’t help himself scanning it before reading it, hoping for a clue as to its contents. He saw the word no and so quickly regretted his forwardness, although nevertheless embarked upon reading the message, conscious that the word no could have many contexts and connotations.
After some reassuring words about how she had seriously thought about Ben’s proposal, Andriana got to the business end of things. As Ben was now used to, there was no beating about the bush. The phrase, ‘my answer is no’, didn’t leave room for too much speculation as how this could be interpreted. The message did at least conclude with some encouraging words about trusting in God to show Ben his future wife.
Deflated, Ben resigned himself to another romantic defeat, and wrote a few cordial words in reply. This was however not quite the end.
A few days later an evangelistic meeting was taking place. Ben had been encouraged to try and invite some people, just one of which accepted. He arranged to meet this person at the bus stop by the university, so that he could bring her to the meeting. He arrived at the stop and she wasn’t there yet. This wasn’t the first time that he had a few moments to kill, waiting for someone by the university. As he daydreamed and looked around all of sudden he spied a familiar figure. It was Andriana on the other side of the road, heading towards the entrance to the university. Ben’s instinct was to call out to her to try and attract her attention. These proved fruitless though as she didn’t hear, or at least she didn’t stop.
Once again instinctively, Ben stepped forward, desiring to go after her. However, he realised that she was quite a bit ahead and already disappearing into the university campus. He now found himself in a quandary wondering about whether to go after her or not. His dilemma was disturbed by a voice.
‘Hi! Sorry I’m late!’ Ben turned to see the only student who had accepted to go to the evangelistic meeting. Her timely arrived reminded Ben that his calling from God was not to chase after possible spouses, but rather to serve those around him.